Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fair Warning.......

......get the Kleenex box very near before you read the rest of this.

I read Angie's post entitled "Papyrus" yesterday afternoon. Then, I read it again later on in the evening. You can read it here.

When I went to bed last night, I was still pondering the same question that she raised and that I have pondered so many times before: I believe with everything in me that God could have let my Audrey live. Why didn't He? He could have let Savannah Morden; he could have let Casey, Gabby, and Calyn Sharp live; He could have let Joshua Ables live; He could have let Jenna Bisbee live; and Jordan Dobbins; and Aubrey Lang; and Carter Purnell. He could have let them all live. Why didn't He? I believe that with everything in my soul that my sister could have a baby tomorrow if He would just speak the words. Why doesn't He? I believe that Jim Clements, who is working on his third month in CCU, could be healed tomorrow with just the touch of the Master's hand? Why doesn't He? The truth is....WE DON'T KNOW!

Here is what I do know though:

There really is a plan. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11. Yes, Chuck and I have discovered that part of God's plan was to raise a daughter here on earth named Allison, and let Audrey rest in His arms. As I'm sure you have guessed by reading this today, that doesn't always take away the sting and ache of grief.

The other thing I know:

On days like today when I am weak and weary, He is not. One of my favorite verses in the bible, Isaiah 40:28-31:

"The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary;
they will walk and not be faint."

Ok, this is turning into a little rambling, but I was just looking over what I have just written. In my ramblings about what God could have done, there are two things that God still could do if He chooses to.....and if we believe that He can. I believe. Do you?

1 comment:

Tab said...

Wow. Thanks for the tissue warning! I can't imagine what you and Chuck have gone through. All I know is that you are a few of the strongest people I know. And I grow more and more respect for you everytime I read your stories of how you deal with your emotions. So many people forget God and His plan. I know that Allison will grow up to appreciate 'the plan.' She got 2 incredible parents out of the deal:)